This is off of the topic of New Years dates, but what are your thoughts about social media sites and dating? More specifically (though there are plenty of issues to explore here), when to add someone as a friend on a social media site.

I believe the last time I added someone I was dating on Facebook was about a year ago (after about 2 months of seeing each other 3 to 4 nights a week). I also do quite a lot of online dating so I don’t even save someone’s phone number until after the third date. So by the time I add someone on Facebook, my friends are already well aware of that person’s existence so I don’t get a lot of questions. (Maybe my friends are just nosey?)

I think in order to make the decision you have to ask some questions:

  • How did you meet? Was it through friends or something more stable than swiping to the left (or is it the right)? Basically, what’s the likelihood this person will be relevant in a few weeks?
  • Are you the jealous type? Because I may or may not have gone through a almost boyfriend’s female friends to figure out just how good of friends they were. I may or may not be a little crazy. So to combat that, I know better than to allow that to be an option.
  • Do you want to maintain an aire of mystery? Even if you aren’t too public on the internet, your friends may be, for you, so be prepared for that. 
  • Are you still dating other people? Not that you have to me exclusive to be friend’s on Facebook but if that’s ideally where you’d like to be, you don’t want a tagged photo of you making out with some dude at the party last night ruining your shot.
  • Will they make it annoyingly obvious that you two are seeing each other naked regularly? Also, do you want that to be obvious to the ex you still have a thing for? To your friends you’ve been hiding this person from? To your teacher you added on a whim? Your grandmother?

Basically, it comes down to how much creed do you take into Facebook (or whatever site is in question) and how much you like the person/value whatever image of yourself you’ve presented to them. Use your best judgement and don’t add them just to lurk their page, their friends’, their exes’, or to parade them around like a show dog.

Also, I think the “let’s add each other on Facebook” thing is really just a tactic to get to Facebook Official. I think this is pretty transparent, so if that’s your intended goal just (wo)man up and have the exclusive talk instead. This isn’t undergrad!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *