I guess it’s time to start talking about this. This will be 1 in a, however many I want, part series of shit to do for 12/31/2013. I, so far, haven’t been convinced to do anything but lie in bed, but we’ll see how this goes. I choose to start off with the low hanging fruit and compile the less obvious ones in the next few posts.

Places You Wouldn’t Want To Be Anyway

Honestly, I wouldn’t want to be around the type of people that pay $100 for New Year’s Eve but if you’re the type, here are the 7 biggest NYE parties happening in Baltimore. They are all around the same price, all offer the same things, and there really isn’t anything to distinguish them except two are on boats & Charm City Countdown is a Roarin’ Twenties theme. But if you are tricked, dragged, or hell, if you actually want to be there, here’s what I’ve got for you:

Bring A Date?
You will get into a fight. You WILL get into a fight. I repeat, you WILL get into a fight. I don’t think it is possible to go to any event like these with someone you’re sleeping and not get into a fight. My advice to avoid fighting is:

  1. Get there as early as you can to make the best of the open bar.
  2. Plan how you’re getting there and back in advance. Check out Lyft or Uber if you can’t just walk it, getting there with a cab will be difficult, getting home with a cab will be IMPOSSIBLE.
  3. Plan how many people you’re coming with. There are lots of group discounts available if you have 4 or more people, get the cheapest price you can. Be prepared to ditch them.
  4. Plan your outfit in advance (and if you date the type of person that cares, show them the outfit). Make sure you have all the glitter you need. Ladies, do NOT complain about your shoes. Buy yourself a pair of foldable flats for $10!
  5. Most places have free coat checks, so wear a damn coat, especially if you failed to do step 2 since you’ll be waiting a while. You most likely will forget your coat though, so don’t take one you like too much.
  6. Charge your cellphone while you’re getting dressed.
  7. Have an exit strategy (and destination, if applicable). If you need a hotel, get one in advance, obviously.

Be prepared for your date to hit on someone else or for other ridiculous drama. Have a backup friend/plan/etc. for when this happens. Reconvene in the morning & get over it. Shit happens.

Alternately, don’t go to ANY of these places for NYE.

Find A Date?
I highly doubt you’ll find the love of your life at The Get Down but you’ll most likely find a stranger’s bed by the end of the night. Come midnight, find the people looking as pathetic and lonely as you happy as you are to not be fighting with their bf/gf and shrug/smile/dance in one’s general direction. They’ll get the point.

Ring 2014 in with a bang (Oh, come on, you knew that was coming…)


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