I’m going to assume you’re straight to make my pronoun use easy. There’s two schools of thought that I think both work (but tend to serve different purposes):
Bars & restaurants are effective though yield less serious results often:
- If you’re too shy to approach a guy, make sure you sit at the bar close to the door with a female friend or alone and make eye contact and SMILE at guys that you’re interested in. If they’re feeling brave they may come over. Make sure you look approachable!
- If you have no shame like me, just walk up and start a conversation. Say your name, say you like their shirt, eyes, etc. and ask their name. If they’re not interested they’re say “thanks” and go about their night. If they are, they’ll likely continue the conversation.
- If you want to do something in the middle, if you see a table or a part of the bar filled with all guy friends, just approach them and ask if you can join (even if it’s just 2 or 3 guys). I’ve never had a group of guys say no to this request. From there, you can take your pick.
Go places you already like (that aren’t very female-centric) but don’t go to enough:
- I suggest bookstores, record stores, museums, brewery tours, etc. I have a list of options here. This is good because you already have a shared interest & a conversation starter.
- You don’t have to uproot or change your routine too much to get a guy. Don’t do things or spend money on things you don’t like because the point is to be comfortable not overwhelmed.
- Not saying not to step outside of your comfort zone ever but if you’ve never liked something, don’t do it just to find a guy. You can only pretend to like something for so long…
If that doesn’t help, feel free to message me back with more details about your life, where you hang, or what you like and I’ll recommend some specific places, events, tactics, etc.
If anyone else wants to chime in, please do?
Edit for great commentary:
- migold said: “TL;DR: I sit near the doors of bars and stare at boys as they enter while my friends are talking to me”