Now that you’ve set up a profile, it’s time to actually send a message.
- Actually read their profile.
- Locate something you have in common or you find interesting.
- Send a message!
- Data has shown that, message length really doesn’t matter. Regardless of message length, on OkCupid, women have a 40% chance of getting a reply and men have a 25% chance.
- With that being said, what does matter? What you say. According to the OkTrends blog, the most well received messages:
- Contain no improper grammar, bad spelling or “netspeak”
- Contain no compliments on the recipients looks.
- Use an unusual greeting such as “How’s It Going?”
- Brings up specific interests of the sender or recipient.
- Start the message as if you’re talking to a friend. After reading their profile you likely know more about them than you would if you had just met them at a bar, so use that to your advantage.
[You have great taste in] [something they mentioned]. I love [specific place/thing] have you ever checked out [something similar]? They both have [something in common]. I [have been meaning to check it out]/[experienced it recently] and [I heard it’s supposed to be]/[it was] [how ever you felt]/[feel about it].
In Action: “You have great taste in restaurants. I love Woodberry Kitchen! Have you been to Parts & Labor? I think they have the same owner. I’ve been meaning to check it out, I’ve heard they have the best Beef Tartare in the city.”
If They’re New In Town:
I’ve lived in Baltimore for [amount of time] and I’ve [never been]/[never get sick of going to] to [landmark]! Have you been yet? It [is]/[supposed to be] [adjective].
In Action: “I’ve lived in Baltimore for my whole life and I’ve never been to the Poe House! Have you been yet? It’s on Amity Street, which I must say is a fitting name.”
If You’re New In Town:
So, I’ve been [trying to understand what the big deal is]/[hearing all] about [something in their profile very Baltimore related]. What am I missing here?
In Action: “So, I’ve been hearing all about this WC Harlan. I’m not sure I understand exactly what it is…What am I missing here?”
Get Offline As Soon As Possible
This was always my specialty. I’m sure being female and arguably attractive helped the whole situation but I generally went for the “What are you doing right now? Want to grab a bite to eat?” after a couple messages exchanged if they live nearby which most people do.
Continue over to the first date section for date suggestions.
More On Messages: