Step 6: Send Some Messages

Now that you’ve set up a profile, it’s time to actually send a message.

Actually read their profile.
Locate something you have in common or you find interesting.
Send a message!

The Message:

Data has shown that, message length really doesn’t matter. Regardless of message length, on OkCupid, women have a 40% chance of getting a reply and men have a 25% chance.
With that being said, what does matter? What you say. According to the OkTrends blog, the most well received messages:
- Contain no improper grammar, bad spelling or “netspeak”
- Contain no compliments on the recipients looks.
- Use an unusual greeting such as “How’s It Going?”
- Brings up specific interests of the sender or recipient.
Start the message as if you’re talking to a friend. After reading their profile you likely know more about them than you would if you had just met them at a bar, so use that to your advantage.

Message Examples

General:

[You have great taste in] [something they mentioned]. I love [specific place/thing] have you ever checked out [something similar]? They both have [something in common]. I [have been meaning to check it out]/[experienced it recently] and [I heard it’s supposed to be]/[it was] [how ever you felt]/[feel about it].

In Action: “You have great taste in restaurants. I love Woodberry Kitchen! Have you been to Parts & Labor? I think they have the same owner. I’ve been meaning to check it out, I’ve heard they have the best Beef Tartare in the city.”

If They’re New In Town:

I’ve lived in Baltimore for [amount of time] and I’ve [never been]/[never get sick of going to] to [landmark]! Have you been yet? It [is]/[supposed to be] [adjective].

In Action: “I’ve lived in Baltimore for my whole life and I’ve never been to the Poe House! Have you been yet? It’s on Amity Street, which I must say is a fitting name.”

If You’re New In Town:

So, I’ve been [trying to understand what the big deal is]/[hearing all] about [something in their profile very Baltimore related]. What am I missing here?

In Action: “So, I’ve been hearing all about this WC Harlan. I’m not sure I understand exactly what it is…What am I missing here?”

Get Offline As Soon As Possible

This was always my specialty. I’m sure being female and arguably attractive helped the whole situation but I generally went for the “What are you doing right now? Want to grab a bite to eat?” after a couple messages exchanged if they live nearby which most people do.

Continue over to the first date section for date suggestions.

More On Messages:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-advice-exactly-what-to-say-in-a-first-message/

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