Step 4: Set Up Your Online Dating Profile

Here are some tips for the most common question sections.


This is like the objective of a resume. Who are you and what do you want? Try something such as [Adjective] [Man/Woman] Seeks Lover of [Things You’re Passionate About]. I’ve never been great at the headline section…

Tinder Summary

This is somewhere between 20 to 50 words and the only information someone really gets about you on Tinder other than your photos. Think in titles here: Student, Blogger, Writer. Add in a bit of what you’re looking for or toss in a quote that you think sums you up. Very few will read it anyway, don’t kill yourself with this.

My Self-Summary / In My Own Words / About Me

It’s not a resume, it doesn’t need to be formal. Write not as if you’re you’re speaking, because “likes”, “ums” and elipses do not translate well on a screen but you can write in a tone as if you’re writing a friend an email.

Not sure how to start? Try these:

  • “You know that scene in [TV show or movie] when [iconic scene] happen, well [I am]/[my life] is a lot like that.
  • “I’ve never seen a [object/thing] I didn’t like…”
  • “The more I see [object/thing/event] the more I believe [something cheeky you believe in].
  • Above anything else, just don’t say “I love to laugh” or “I work hard and play harder” because that’s just obnoxious.

What I’m Doing With My Life

This question is generally asking, what do you spend all day doing? Don’t go on and on about your job because no one cares. Make it playful, make them guess what it is, talk about why you love it, or talk about a job you’d prefer doing but in a positive way. This is also a place to talk about your hobbies and passions.

Try to Include:

  • How you make money
  • Where/how you spend that money
  • What you’re studying in school (if applicable)
  • Hobbies, volunteering, etc.

Pro-tip: Give a sentence or two as to explain why you do all of these things. Only explain what you’re passionate about because that’s what makes you you.

I’m Really Good At

This is where you brag about yourself. Keep this short so you don’t look like a narcisist. I preferred bullet points, some serious like, “Being the responsible friend” and some not so serious like “Making Spotify playlists.” Show what you’d be like to hang out with on a regular basis.

The First Thing People Usually Notice About Me

This is a tricky one for a lot of people. If you’ve got a distinctive physical trait, this is pretty straight forward, but otherwise hopefully you’re fairly interesting some other way.


  • A distinct laugh
  • The way you dress
  • A defining accessory like a piece of jewelry or glasses
  • Something you frequently have with you (i.e. dog, latest gadget, etc.)

Pro-tip: If you really can’t think of anything, you’re probably boring and should leave this area blank.

Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music and Food / Last Read

We get it, you like Breaking Bad. So does everyone else. List your top 3 to 5 in each category. If you like quite a lot of a certain type, list genres but in more depth than just comedies, think of the Netflix categories: Movies with Strong Female Leads, Dark Comedies, Folk Infused Rock, etc. Be original, especially if you like all the things everyone else does.

Pro-tip: Include other forms of media/entertainment even if you’re not prompted, such as video games, podcasts, board games, etc.

Six Things I Could Never Live Without / Favorite Things

If you’re going to include air, water, food, friends, family or make a mention of how the uneven number bothers you, just skip this question. I rarely see an answer here that is not a detriment to the profile owner, so thread carefully.

I Spend A Lot of Time Thinking About

This is another opporunity to list things since over explaining yourself could take away from message and first date conversation. Be honest here, what do you really spend your time thinking about?

Don’t try to get all deep if you’re not but do be a little tactful. If you spend your time thinking about boobs, try “How beautiful women are.” If you are a bit more on the intellectual side, don’t go too far into the deep end, stick with saying simply, “Gender Roles”, “Global Warming”, “Affirmative Action”, etc. You don’t have to say where you stand on the issues, just that you think about them.

On A Typical Friday Night I Am / Favorite Hot Spots

If you’re out partying, just say so. Don’t caveat it, “work hard, party harder” or other tired cliches, just show what you’re doing, paint a picture instead of just “at a bar” or “on the couch”. You’re more interesting than that.

Also, “it’s definitely not typical” is a cop out. If you’re so atyical, that should have been apparent in other parts of your profile. Just skip it.

If you’re out:

  • “Drinking my signature drink [insert a drink you made up]/[unique drink you like] at [favorite bar].
  • Getting the guys together for poker at The Horse Shoe.
  • Avoiding a bloody nose and pushing my way to the front of the crowd at [music venue].
  • Seeing how many weekends it’ll take til I try every drink at [bar].

Staying In:

  • Making my way through the [book series] with a glass of [type of wine], and my most comfy robe.
  • Catching up on episodes of [TV shows] and trying out [brewery’s latest beer].
  • Studying the [obscure grad school topic], so that one day my Saturday’s can be spent [favorite place].

Pro-tip: If you’re new in town, this is a great place to write something like, “Still trying to figure that out.” which is an invitation for a new “tour guide.”

The Most Private Thing You’re Willing To Admit

This is a tricky one. Safest bet is to opt for a guilty pleasure like, “I know every word to ‘Spice World’” or “I cried during The Notebook.” or something you’re deficient at, like “I never learned how to multiply by 8s” or “Every time I try to make cookies, I burn them.”

Show that you can make fun of yourself but nothing too embarasssing since ya know, you’re trying to get a date…

You Should Message Me If…

This is the only area where you really get to put what you’re looking for in a potential mate. Don’t go on and on but include some dealbreakers and some things that would give someone extra points!

I always include things like “You appreciate a nice steak” or “Your profile doesn’t say you listen to everything but country.’” These are things that made my profile stand out and showed that I had an opinion on things. You can also use this section to put a challenge or question such as, “You should message me if… you think you can beat me at Jenga” or “You’ve got an answer to ‘Which super power would you rather have, Flight or Invisibility?’”

Don’t give an endless unachievable list, “Make over 80k, at least foot tall, etc.” because even the people meeting your requirement will think you’re shallow.

Pro-tip: Use this area for a call to action, such as “You have a suggestion for a new book”, “You know I can get some great vegan chili”. This makes it easy to start a conversation with you.

Ideal Date / First Date

Just put something you’ve been meaning to do or somewhere you like to spend your Saturday mornings. Just make it more original than dinner and a movie and have it show your personality.

More Tips

Profile Length:

There’s not much research about the how long a profile should be to actually be read so I found the next closest comparison: a resume. One person reads dozens with the same words and cliche statements hoping to find a hint of originality and a suitable match. Studies have shown that the highest rated resumes are between 600 to 700 words, which the average person should be able to read in 2 to 3 minutes.

Share With Your Friends:

If you get stumped or if you finish and need feedback, show your friends and ask for their opinion. They’ll likely tell you that the first thing people notice about you isn’t your infectious laugh but rather your awkward way of walking. Bringing in your friends will help make sure you sound like you and will also remind or reveal to your friends that you’re looking to date again so they’ll know to set you up.

More On Online Dating:

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